Roxanne
by sesquipedality
Summary: We're reading Cyrano de Bergerac in Katimski's, and it feels kinda... familiar. To, you know, my life. In lots of other ways, though, it's just... completely different. Angela, several months after the letter, on Jordan, Brian, and friends.


We're reading Cyrano de Bergerac in Katimski's, and it feels kinda… familiar. To, you know, my life. In lots of other ways, though, it's just. Completely different.

Ok, like Brian. He is_ not_ the Cyrano to my Roxanne. Cyrano was like, suave and stuff. Brian—Brian's _Brian_. He's not even exactly my friend. He's like a _brother_ or something. Annoying and insensitive and intrusive but, also, you know, I'd miss him if he wasn't around. But I don't, like, like him that way. Even if he does like me. I'm not obligated to like him back, and I don't. Which, yeah, still makes things kinda awkward, but we're getting better.

And Jordan. He's a _lot _better than Christian de Neuvillette. I mean, he didn't need Brian's words to make me like him in the first place—just to make me forgive him. And then, you know, in his car that night… he explained himself to me in his own words. And really, even if I had still thought the letter was genuine, the stuff he said to me then would have meant more to me because it, _it _was _really_ genuine. 

So, yeah, I'm with Jordan. I remember when Rayanne first asked me if I was crushing on him, and I said I wanted to have sex with him, or a conversation, or preferably both. That's how it worked out, you know? The first time we dated it was really just about sex, even if we didn't actually _have sex_. And then after we broke up we talked a lot and stuff. Now we do both. Well, not actual sex yet, either. He says he doesn't want to pressure me. I mean, he wants to, he wants to have sex, but he wants _me_ more. Rickie says that's the most romantic thing he's ever heard. I think so too. And… I kinda want to. You know. Sleep with him. Soon.

Sharon says go for it. She's still doing stuff with Kyle. She says it's okay, because he knows she's using him, so that means she isn't actually using him. Anyway, Sharon's completely pro-sex now. She jokes that she's the one who should have gotten "most slut potential."

Rayanne just tells me to use protection. I'm sorta friends with Rayanne again, ever since she apologized. It's different, though. When we started being friends the first time I needed her to… drag me into things. Wake me up. And now… I'm happy with who I am. Rayanne's the one who needs _me_, now, and she doesn't need me to tell her "go". I think she needs me to tell her "stop." She's doing AA, and spending a lot of time at our house. She comes over for dinner at least once a week and Mom and Dad ask her all sorts of stuff, like they're her _parents_ or something. Dad's going to let her be a waitress at his restaurant this summer; he's teaching her everything about the food on the menu. And she goes over to Katimski's too, and there she actually _studies_. 

Rickie's still living with Katimski. He's really happy there. I think Katimski's trying to like, adopt him or something, although it's super hard because of the, you know, _gay thing_. Whatever. Rickie's doing good. Even if I don't understand what's going on with him and Delia Fisher _at all._

Mom likes Jordan, and so does Dad. The second or third time we had him over for dinner he ended up talking to Uncle Neil (who'd broken up with Marla _again_ and come over to mope). Jordan thinks he's dyslexic after all. They're giving him stuff to do about it at school. People don't think he's stupid anymore. And since they have official stuff for him he's not being tutored by Brian, which is nice because that was just… really awkward after the letter. For all of us, though he and Brian are starting to be kind of friends again. Anyways, Jordan and I study together, now. We lay in his car and I read our assigned texts aloud and then we like, talk about them. And kiss. A lot. 

It looks like he's going to pass his sophomore year with like, decent grades. 

We're curled up in Red and the April sunshine's streaming down. Jordan's kissing my neck and tickling me and saying this stuff about how Cyrano kind of reminds him of Tino, like this really important person who everyone looks up to and who makes stuff happen. I'm going with him to Residue's rehearsal in about twenty minutes—Jordan's the lead singer but he and Shane are arguing about the lyrics in one of their songs and Shane wants my opinion to settle the disagreement.

And I'm happy. I'm maybe in love with Jordan Catalano and he's maybe in love with me. I don't know if it's going to last between us forever. I don't know if I would want it to. Whatever happens, happens, you know? For now it's good.

_Please review. I'm not sure whether I have my Angela voice right, or even if the events stated here would plausibly occur in a MSCL world._


End file.
